Hoh! I developed that negative behaviour!

I'm listening to Taylor Swift's songs.. she's my favourite singer for the time being.. in fact she has been my fav since 3 years ago..

Life now has changed. From being circulated with a lot of friends.. I am now undergoing life on my own without best friends that i can chare my feelings with.. It is another phase of life when you finish your education, and you proceed with another phase of life..friends being fade away..even though there are many ways that can keep you in touch with them but the feelings are different..they are beung busy with life over there..with new friends or 'old' friends...

And me..being apart to another city in Malaysia..a city full of happenings but i never get its spirits.. I am in Kuala Lumpur..the capital city of Malaysia..the most awakening city!! Hoh!! What's the difference.. I hate this city.. I tried many times to 'love' this place but it seemed fruitless.. Hate hate K.L!!!!

although i make new friends but it will never be the same.. sweet memories being fade away.. I am thankful to friends in Cardiff and in the UK who always say 'i miss you kak Fuzah' 'miss you Fuzah' and whatsoever kind of same meaning..

Thanks again..

I will always be alone in my room.. I bought a small TV to keep me busy watching news and dramas.. But the feeling of loneliness is always there.. sometimes it made me cry.. No one to talk to..no one to laugh with.. no one to share stories with.. it is driving me crazy..

I really miss Dayang..my OT mate..

I am missing my Haireen Halimi...

I am missing my Newcastle's friends..they are together again in Kedah but me..being thrown away in KL..

I am missing my Cardiff friends..Ninians..they are now Beauchamp's..missing Plantagenet Street neighbours..

I am missing TeamUsrahCardiff buddies..now called Cardiff Nusantara Network..missing Kuliah Al-Quran buddies, Bruneian's friends and everyone there!!

Even though there is something that I dont like about living in Cardiff and to handle with difficult people where I used to lived, but I had fantastic experiences there!!

Alhamdulillah..I know Allah is always here with me..

Life here is always full of mood swings..Sometimes happy..sometimes not.. I become more sensitive to people who are close to me.. I become more sensitive to people's responses to my behaviour..

I dont know whether it is a good sign or not..or maybe it is a sign of aging!! Oh Godness! Ouuhh..I would rather say it is a sign of maturity!! Is that?? hoh!! Maturity means I can control that negative behaviour instead of that behaviour is controlling me!

I understand that there are times when I want more attention..oh like 'kucing-kucing' that want 'belaian'!!

I dont blame myself..or others because sometimes it is not the right time to seek for attention when other people are busy with their life..!! Ok fine!! I hate that!!

My mom and dad is going to perform their Hajj this year!! Alhamdulillah..May Allah always be with them and grant them Barakah Hajj!!

I will always pray for them.. Everyday, my dad will call me..asking me what I am doing and what I have eaten..and so and so.. I miss my family so much..

I am now alone.. I wish I had someone to talk to and to laugh with.. I really miss the times when friends were making jokes and I laughed..

Missing that moments crazily..because I am crazily lonely..

I noticed that friends are now becoming far away from me.. They dont really care about me..less responsive.. All I can say!!